i'll lose myself in you
by vaporwavebomb
Summary: allura knows this feeling, and it's easy, so easy to accept it. the only problem comes with sharing it.


Disclaimer: I don't own Voltron, or any of its characters. This is cross-posted from my AO3 account.

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Balmera is beautiful in its own ways, Allura comes to find, even after years of cruel harvesting from the Galra. The surface is rocky, dusty, almost barren if not for the crystals. And, of course, the flowers.

Between missions, Allura always made sure to have time to visit Balmera. She had tried to convince herself that it wasn't because of a certain Balmeran, but lying had never been her strong suit. All it took was a quirked eyebrow from Pidge to bring a hot flush to her face. A laugh, smile, even just a glance from Shay was enough to send Allura's heart racing, make her recount etiquette lessons from her old teacher just so she wouldn't stumble over her own feet.

Allura had met princesses before the Galra had struck. She had had crushes, she had arranged picnics and sipped tea and replayed wind-chime laughter in her head all through the night; the concept wasn't new, but it felt different. It could have been in the ways she had grown, a line in her palm she could trace, as Hunk had said.

 _It's called palm reading, back on earth,_ he had said, taking her left hand, between his own, squinting down at it. _There's a life line, a love line, fate line, you know, things like that. Lance got really into it after he met a lady who read his and told him he'd have a ton of partners in his future._

 _Fascinating,_ she had murmured, _A way to map out your fate before it has even aligned._

Hunk snorted, ducking his head down with a grin. _Yeah, you could see it like that. You know, Princess, I could read your palm for you._

 _You can?_

He hummed, before tracing a long line, nodding once. He locked eyes with her, face grave, and Allura could feel herself lean in, wondering what could be so serious. _Your love line, Allura, it..._

 _What?_ she asked.

 _It says you have a huge crush on Shay!_ he gasped.

He wasn't wrong, but she hated being teased. It helped, in a way, to know that the paladins approved, showing it in their own ways, even if it was simply sharing a collective look whenever she suggested going down to check on Balmera and continuing without (many) questions. It wasn't like he was wrong, but it also wasn't like she knew how to go about it. The world had changed, and there weren't people to arrange dates and places. There wasn't an Altea.

There was, however, a Balmera. A Balmera with flowers, a field, small but open, blue and pink and yellow petals tangling together. There was Shay, smiling, beckoning her over, just her. Allura lifted her skirt, mindful of the flowers, following behind Shay as the made their way down a small path to the heart of the garden. They sat together, and it was so reminiscent of the old days, but also so new and warm and inviting that Allura found herself swallowing down a tide of emotions that churned in her gut.

 _This,_ Shay announced with a sweep of her hand, _is one of the most sacred parts of Balmera, other than the crystals. It's so hard to grow anything here because of the treatment of the planet, but somehow, this has always stayed._

 _As determined and beautiful as the people,_ Allura said, grinning so wide her cheeks hurt.

Shay looked shock, before sharing a wobbly smile with her, the beam of the sun falling over her shoulders and the nervous burning in her heart starts up in pace with the rapid beating. Allura knows this feeling, and it's easy, so easy, to accept it. The only problem comes with sharing it.

The flowers are beautiful, but your smile outshines it all, she thinks, wishing the words would work themselves out of her.

 _Th-thank you,_ Shay finally says, giggling. _I didn't just take you out here to show you the flowers, though, I wanted to give you a gift._

Carefully, Shay begins to pluck flowers, twisting the stems, braiding them together, starting with three, but making her way onward. _We make these 'crowns' to express gratitude. Because of how rare the flowers are, they're normally only given to extremely important people, but I don't think anyone would say you don't deserve it._

Allura watched the chain grow, before it curved around, finally ending where it had started, a circle of pink, twisted together and closed. Shay held it out, to her, and with trembling hands, Allura took it, thinking.

She remembered a time when all she had wanted to see were the flowers of her home planet, when she had wanted nothing more than to smell the Juniberries. She brought it up, sniffing one of the flowers. A light, airy fragrance sprung out. Allura smiled, and delicately as she could, she placed the flower crown on Shay's head.

 _A-Allura?_

Allura caressed Shay's cheek, and whispered, _I may be important to this planet, but you're important to me._

 _What do you mean?_

The question hung in the air, before Allura leaned in, and just like she always had, Shay met her halfway.

Allura still dreamt of the Juniberry flowers, stuck between memories and the cracked image of her father, but now, pink flowers clutched curled into a crown and soft laughter and a sweet smile edged its way in, sweeping past old nightmares, making new dreams. And when she woke with a smile curling itself across her face, Allura knew what that feeling was. Finally, with a large hand grasping her own, Shay knew it too.


End file.
